Holy crap on a cracker, I haven’t done this in a very long time. And perhaps it would be a good idea to reinstate this practice, whenever I’m about ready to explode, like right now. Where is the next available pillow for me to scream into?
Okay. Deep breaths. One thing after the other…
I just started cooking, because my mom is not feeling well and wanted to relax on the couch for a while. But she is not happy unless she can criticize me once per day. She just can’t help herself. It took less than 10 minutes, for her to come into the kitchen to “check up on me and to see what I’m doing”. It’s always the same, and it riles me up to no end.
…”Don’t you want to do this first….”
…”I would have done it like this…”
…”Why don’t you try it like this, it’ll be better/easier…”
…”Why don’t you use this instead…”
Oh my days! Just quit micromanaging me! I’m not cooking for the first time ever today. Gawd.
Does she think that I’m incapable of doing anything without her supervision or guidance? At the same time she wonders, why I’m so hard on myself, always aiming for perfection – and failing miserably, of course. Thinking back to my years in America, I miss my independence and my freedom. No one told me anything, it was up to me. The good, the bad, all of it.
Yaaahhhh, I know. She is elderly, I should have patience with her and overlook moments like these. The issue is, that this is not a due-to-old-age problem, it’s been like this for as far back as I can remember. You know what? Sometimes I miss those few thousand miles between the family and myself. They are so much easier to like with a lot of distance in between. Sorry, it’s the truth.
Alright. Now a nice big spoonful of Valerian and I shall get back to “neutral mood” right quick.
Trivialities & Intricacies 