Just recently, the realization hit me, that I’ve always felt drawn to people, who are going their own way, or don’t really “fit into the system”. You know the kind of person, who isn’t all that involved, impressed or interested in what everyone around them is up to. They live their lives exactly how they see fit, won’t be forced into social norms if unacceptable to them and don’t concern themselves a whole lot, if at all, with how other people feel about it [without deliberately harming or upsetting anyone, of course]. That’s the kind of person I admire the most. Only one person fits that bill: my former friend and spirit sister Jamie. She has that quiet confidence. She’s not pushy, not loud, she doesn’t offend anyone or knock them down to get her way. And still, she is always unapologetically true to herself. Jamie won’t compromise a whole lot, or bend herself into a pretzel for anyone, when it comes to things truly dear and important to her. Even if she’s met with criticism and conflict, it makes no difference, she won’t budge. She has a truck load of quirks, that only “the right people, meant for her”, could embrace or find endearing. I don’t know how many times someone would roll their eyes up to high heaven because of how Jamie behaved, or something she said. All too often rude comments were directed at her. Whenever someone rejected Jamie, for whichever reason, she wasn’t fazed by that. A common response of hers was “Okay good, it’s your loss. Anything else? ‘Cause we’re losing daylight and I’d like to move on with my life”. Perhaps it takes a like-minded person to admire such qualities, I don’t know. Others may find behavior like this rude, self-centered, childish or whatever else. Jamie embraces who she is meant to be and is at peace with herself. She doesn’t need cheerleaders for her unique ways and quirks, nor anyone’s attention and approval. I have always admired Jamie for the way she is, and no matter what anyone else thinks, that will never change.
Tag: dailyprompt
Because It Matters
Yes I do. To vote in political elections is both a privilege and a duty. With all the conflicts and challenges around the globe, even the very last snoozer should have realized by now, that every vote matters.
Aimlessly Wandering
I used to have a little compass within, buried deep somewhere. Turns out, it’s been broken for over a decade. It stopped working when I moved back to Germany, to be precise. I left my life and my goals in America – that’s how it feels, anyway. Now, I’m just aimlessly wandering through each day, month, year… I’m well aware that it is up to me, to get myself unstuck. I just don’t know how.
Deeply Connected
“I can only connect deeply or not at all.”
– Anaïs Nin
Ready For Takeoff
I would love the experience of being a pilot for one day. If it weren’t for the impossibility in real life, this would be my dream job 🛫
Full Speed Mornings
I can best concentrate and am most productive early in the morning. As the day progresses, it takes increasingly more conscious effort to motivate myself and remain focused on the tasks at hand.
Eccentric Dingbat?
As of late, I truly enjoy conversations with my neighbor lady about spirituality. We seem to be equally open-minded, have similar experiences and thoughts about this fascinating topic. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not the type of person, to run out and buy/read every book on the subject or watch every YouTube video known to mankind. I have, if at all, very limited knowledge about it, really. My own experiences kind of “shove me into that direction” now and again. My friend Jamie always told me, that I am blessed with the gift. She thinks that I should find someone who will work with me on developing it further. To be honest, while I’m intrigued by the thought of it on one hand, there’s also a sense of caution, with regard to the direction in which this may take me, on the other.
Overall, it is truly disappointing, that you still have to be very mindful in this day and age, with whom you talk about spirituality. Because at least in my extended family, or other people in my mom’s social circle will be all too happy to label you as “cuckoo” or as an “eccentric dingbat, who lost all touch with reality”, if you dare to bring up this topic. Luckily, my neighbor lady tells me time and again, how stimulating and interesting she thinks our conversations are. And I wholeheartedly agree with her.
A-Z Challenge: Upbeat
A few of the topics I have addressed this month, with my own version of the A-Z Challenge, awakened some unpleasant memories. Clearly, it was my choice to write about my past, and I don’t regret having done so. It is a form of therapy, even after all this time. And let’s be honest about one thing, you are here and reading my posts because you choose to, not because I am twisting your arm. Am I wrong? Today it’s drab and cold outside, quite fitting to how I feel. The best way to tackle that negativity is with some upbeat music…
Sorry Excuse For A Man
Daily writing prompt
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
*** Trigger Warning *** Post Topic: Rape *** Trigger Warning ***
One of my relationships was with a manipulative, controlling man, who would throw things at me and start screaming, whenever I did not “behave” according to his wishes. God help me, I hated his guts for the way he treated me. Because of that I denied him physical contact and intimacy.
Being told ‘no’ was unacceptable for him. He was going to get what he wanted, regardless. Once, I woke up in the middle of the night, while he sexually assaulted me. I pushed him off before he could finish. But he did this at least one more time. How do I know that? Because it is literally the only way how he could have gotten me pregnant. That was 21 years ago.
To this day I hate myself for not pressing charges at the time. I should have put his rotten ass in jail, or at least make sure, that he’d be registered as a sex offender for the rest of his life. In hindsight I truly wish, that I wouldn’t have been in such a state of emotional paralysis back then. And much like most other women do, I buried myself in work and tried my best to forget about everything.
What Exactly?
Truth be told, everything that is beyond my influence or control makes me nervous to some extend. Does that make me a control freak? Oh gosh. Having to depend on other people or institutions, for instance, is a red flag because that gives them way more power and control over me, than I would ever willingly want to give anyone, if I had a choice. That makes no sense, I give up. If you even made it this far, have a fantastic day!! 😔🙃😊
Trivialities & Intricacies 
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