Tag: Appreciation

Happy April Fools’ Day. Did you prank someone? Instead of pranking you, I will begin with my own version of the ‘A’ to ‘Z’ writing challenge throughout the month of April. And appreciation is the word I chose, to get this little venture started. So without further ado, let’s begin…

Appreciation. It’s interesting time and again, how certain people or situations just keep tumbling about in our heads, in my case for decades. As a teenager, I always secretly admired a woman who is approximately 5 years older. She was a goth back then in the mid 80s, dressed in black with teased black hair, spike collar and a little white rat as her constant companion. I think her name is Nina, but I’m not certain. People were shaking their heads in disbelief, she was made fun of for years, some were afraid of her. Even Nina’s mother was thoroughly discussed and ridiculed for ‘not getting her daughter under control’. Nina wasn’t fazed by any of it. She lived her life, remained true to herself, her lifestyle, beliefs and values. I never worked up the courage to talk to her. Not because she was mean or grumpy. But deep within, I wanted to be like her, just ‘quietly rebellious’. Because even back then I knew that I wasn’t made for this ‘one-system-fits-all’ kind of life and would have loved to break free. Nina had the courage I was lacking, even as a young women. I kept admiring her from the distance, even across the pond throughout my time in America.
Since my return to Germany, I saw her a few times. Just yesterday she walked past my mom, Lilly and I. These days, she toned down her appearance a little. Her hair is red now, but the predominant color choice still seems to be black. I may have talked to her, if it weren’t for my mom walking right behind me. Nina looked to be in thought, perhaps tired. I’m not good at reading or understanding facial expressions. So it may not have been the right moment to approach her anyway. I don’t know. Maybe I still can’t scrape enough courage together? After all, I’m a stranger to her. What’s it going to do for her, when I tell her, that she was my secret idol way back when? She may think I’m crazy? I don’t know why I feel that urge to tell her? Possibly because I’m trying to make up for all the hurt and the jokes she had to endure as a teenager and young woman? I hope that the right opportunity will present itself one day. Why should I keep this appreciation to myself? After all I could choose to think positive, and just maybe it will brighten her day knowing, that she had a fan back then!?