Okay, you know what? I’m not even going to attempt one of the crazy “z-words”. Instead, I am grateful to everyone, who accompanied me this month and read my articles for each letter of the alphabet. Maybe I’ll do it again in the fall, with the season being my theme? Stay tuned to find out. Thank you so much for your visits to my blog, for your likes, comments and general interest in the topics I write about. Please take care and be well until our paths cross again, hopefully in the near future.
Tag: A-Z Challenge
A-Z Challenge: Rainbow
In such frightening and challenging times we need hope 🌈🕊🍀
A-Z Challenge: Forgiveness
Throughout my time here on WordPress, I may have mentioned a time or twenty, that I’m not a fan of people. Clearly, I didn’t just wake up one morning with a made up mind. A few encounters in the past, let’s call them very unpleasant, had the majority to do with everything. Those people taught me painful lessons, no one cares to learn voluntarily. But, it’s water under the bridge now, and I do my best to ignore those dark spots in my otherwise coloful painting of life.
Once in a while I do have flashbacks of certain moments, and it requires conscious effort not to let anger or sadness take control of me. This is, where forgiveness comes into play. It is high time to forgive those women and men for their wrong-doing. Forgive them, not for their sake, but for my own peace of mind. This too, will be a process and I’m ready to take the first step.
A-Z Challenge: Changes
In the grand scheme of things, change is generally a good thing. Without making adjustments as needed, we would never have progressed and evolved to the living standards and conditions we do have today. It takes an open mind and a good portion of curiosity to fully embrace changes.
On a personal level, changes present a challenge. This is partly due to Asperger Autism. Routines and schedules are good friends of mine, because they act as a safety net. Ideally, when something differs from my daily routine, I know exactly what’s happening, at what time, how long it will take, who will be involved….you get the idea. The more information I have, prior to whatever will occur out of the ordinary, the better, because I can (try to) mentally prepare myself. Most often, that makes a positive difference, but it still depends on how I’m doing overall on that particular day. Now heaven forbid something changes last minute, then “Housten, we have a problem”, and crap starts rolling downhill right quick. It frightens me time and again, how fast a nervous or agitated mood can turn into a full on panic mode. Often the lesser, but equally negative response, to last minute changes is anger. That happens, for example, when the handyman is due to arrive at 10 AM to repair something, but doesn’t show up at 10 AM sharp. Another example would be, that we have coffee and cake at 4 PM every afternoon. That is a constant since childhood. Up until about a year ago, it was a minor crisis for me, if we had coffee at 4.15 PM or any other time. Seems ridiculous, I know. And trust me, my mom “challenges me daily”, to help me learn a bit more flexibility and tolerance for such small changes. By now I can manage “the coffee crisis” a lot better, but it does take a considerable amount of conscious effort, to keep my grumpiness in check. So, while I understand that changes are a positive thing overall, it can be quite a challenge every day, to accept and deal with them accordingly.
A-Z Challenge: Butterflies
These delicate, beautifully colored insects generally symbolize transformation and change.
In different cultures they also stand for lightness, hope and love, or bravery and good fortune.
Ever since my little Aubree spread her wings on September 4th 2023, I’ve been seeing a lot more butterflies. Or did I just not pay attention before? Laugh it off, if you want to. I know it’s my little angel reminding me that she is safe and happy, but also, that she is always with me. Now I am not talking about every butterfly I see for a second or two. These precious moments occur, when I’m going for a walk alone and it is quiet around me. Then sometimes, a butterfly appears and accompanies me for quite a while. Usually, these moments ignite a comforting warmth, or a feeling of peace from way down deep, and I always see the same photo of Aubree, which makes me laugh out loud without fail and it brings such joy.
To some, it may well be a wild imagination or hocus-pocus. That’s fine, you do you. To others, myself included, it is a special and very strong bond with a beloved animal or person, that carries on forever. True is also, that it is definitely easier to believe something, when you experience it yourself. We appreciate butterflies, some for their beauty, others also for the messages they convey.
A-Z Challenge: Authenticity
I stumbled upon a writing challenge, throughout the month of April. Apparently there are a few rules and guidelines to this. If I understand correctly, participants are asked to choose a theme and corresponding words for each letter of the alphabet. That’s really nice and lots of fun, I’m sure. You know what, though? I am doing this A-Z challenge my way, off the cuff. Are you ready for the ride? Then get buckled up and we’re starting with A for authenticity…
For decades I painstakingly tried to be, who family members, co-workers or friends thought I should be. I felt like an actress, performing to the best of my abilities. Needless to say, my performance was never good enough, but if anything, I was “easier to deal with”. It took me way too long to realize that I was everyone, except my true self. Every time I had to introduce myself somewhere and talk about who I am, or better yet, what makes me unique, I didn’t know what to say, because I had nothing to share. And one day, a few years ago, my mind was made up that I needed to find myself. Trying to be authentic every day is a challenge, that never gets any easier. It takes a lot of courage, more than I have most days, and quite often the people around me are not amused. Why? Because I no longer do what I’m told, if it feels wrong, or if I don’t like/agree with whatever is asked of me. Right quick I was given labels like difficult or head strong. And you know what? If it makes them happy, let them label me. That’s fine. I’m finally getting to the point, at which I try to internalize, that other people’s opinions of me are none of my business. If I don’t hear it myself, I don’t need to concern myself with whatever is being said. I have a much better understanding now with regard to who I am, and that’s all I need to care about.
Pertaining to this blog: I’m not here to prove myself to anyone. I’m not here to impress anyone. You won’t find me using “fancy words” [that need to be researched first, about the correct meaning, proper use or spelling]. I won’t attempt to dazzle you with anything, that I can’t back up in real life. So what you read here, this is who I am, it is what I do, think and feel. There is no difference between my online and offline personality. The content I will share here is certainly not everybody’s interest, but it is authentic. And that’s a good start, I think.
Trivialities & Intricacies 
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