Nope, not at all 🙁
Rejection Hurts
To be perfectly honest, I have become disappointingly good at repressing truths that are hurtful. One of them being, that my mother’s son completely rejects me. For years I’ve been trying to reconnect with him and my sister-in-law. Unfortunately, there’s no progress to be made. He just hates me. The truly sad part is, that I don’t even know why. My mom talked to them both a number of times, trying to find out the reason. I have asked them flat out, to just tell me what I have said or done to upset them so much. No answer. I’m given the silent treatment and distance. Throughout the year, not seeing them at all, it is becoming easier to repress the fact that they reject me.
Now, the Christmas season is upon us once again, the time for families to get together, spend quality time, create memories and simply be happy. Well….in a perfect world maybe.
Why is it such a struggle to accept something for what it is, to try and move on? Perhaps it could be more easily done, if I knew the reason for being rejected? At least then, I could try to make amends with them. I could reflect my behavior and learn from it. Because I have this obsessive need to understand everyting, and could not get answers any other way, I reached out to a psychologist on YouTube, who does videos every Saturday and responds to questions and problems of her viewers in the comments section. She actually responded back to me, saying, that most likely it is nothing that I said or did to him/them. She thinks, that my mother’s son is probably not happy with himself, or his own life and projects that onto me. It is also possible, that he is jealous of me, because I lived far away by myself and managed my life without “the family safety net”. There have been some truly rough times, as you’ve been able to learn throughout my time here on WordPress. But I wasn’t “stuck all my life” in the area in which we grew up, like he was. At the same time, no one held him back from doing what he wanted, not even his wife. Why does he hate me for the choices he made? Neither my mom, nor I can come up with a plausible reason to justify his rejection towards me. I will have to find a way to come to terms with this situation the way it is, because there is no sign, that it’s going to change anytime soon. 😢
Some Things Don’t Change
Happy Sunday, to begin with…
Good to know, that recycling works properly here on WordPress in terms of writing prompts [Sarcasm End]. I should dig up the last post I wrote in response to this question 🤣
Ah, what the fluff. Here we go yet again…
I am happiest late at night, with one small source of light in the room and Lilly by my side, while listening to my favorite songs. This is the time, when the “performance mask” falls and I can freely give way to my thoughts and feelings. That’s when I’m the happiest on any ordinary day.
Tag, You’re It!
Happy Friday, everyone!!
I’ve been tagged by Midna Twili, to participate in a challenge called “The Music Tag”. Thanks very much, Midna, for considering me. I truly appreciate it. But how about the rules, you may wonder? Well here they are…
🎵 write down ten songs, that come on shuffle (no skipping)
🎵 write down your favorite part(s) of the lyrics from each song (one or more, if desired)
🎵 tag other people of choice
Now that should be fun, so let’s begin…
“Smile” by Nat “King” Cole
[…] If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through, for you […]
“Going Home” by Tyler Joe Miller
[…] I’m a rolling stone, never can stay long
Leaving is a bittersweet freedom
Even if I drive a million miles
I can never shake that feeling […]
“Shine On You” by Gloria Tells
[…] I am a woman
Play by my own rules
I got my two feet on solid ground
And then I take the first step, a million more
And I’ll make mistakes I’ve never made before […]
[…] I’m gonna let it shine on you
Make room for everything that’s true
Do whatever I wanna do […]
“I Believe In You” by Michael Bublé
[…] I believe in starting over
I can see that your heart is true
I believe in good things coming back to you
You’re the light that lifts me higher
So bright, you guide me through
I believe in you […]
[…] And all I want
Is to know you’re near
You’re all I need here […]
“Still Rainin'” by Jonny Lang
[…] They say that time heals everything
Well I know the pain, honey, that love can bring
It don’t get no better with each passing day
Every hope I had, slowly slipping away […]
“Dream Weaver” by Gary Wright
[…] Fly me high through the starry skies
Or maybe to an astral plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me to forget today’s pain […]
“Heart Like A Truck” by Lainey Wilson
[…] I got a heart like a truck
It’s been drug through the mud
Runs on dreams and gasoline
And that ole highway holds the key
It’s got a lead foot down when it’s leaving
Lord knows it’s taken a hell of a beating
A little bit of love is all that it’s needing
But it’s good as it is tough
I got a heart like a truck […]
“For A Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic” by Paramore
[…] Just talk yourself up
And tear yourself down
You’ve hit your one wall
Now find a way around
Well what’s the problem
You’ve got a lot of nerve […]
“Numb” by Linkin Park
[…] I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me […]
[…] All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you […]
[…] Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
‘Cause everything that you thought that I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you […]
“Everybody’s Fool” by Evanescence
[…] Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that
Never was and never will be […]
[…] Without the mask
Where will you hide
Can’t find yourself
Lost in your lie […]
And there we have them, the ten random and unskipped songs, hot from the iPod 😊
But now comes the difficult part: to tag other bloggers, who enjoy music…….[do you hear the crickets chirping yet again??]. Well I know of Jim Adams, because he hosts a prompt called Song Lyric Sunday. I participated a few times, many moons ago. And then? There’s a fox, who reviews rock, and checks in with me once in a while, so I’ll tag him as well. Unfortunately, that’s about it I’m disappointed to say. But if you, dear reader, wish to participate without having been named, consider this your heartfelt invitation. The more, the merrier after all. Thanks for stopping by and have a fantastic weekend!!
Hush!
I wish people would quit talking about me, no matter if positive or negative. NOT. AT. ALL.
There are certainly more important and interesting topics to discuss. Please exclude me and my day-to-day life from your boring chit-chat. Move on to other subject matters, or hush to begin with.
Happy Sunday!! 😊
Forever
Forever
Look here, now
two-legged friends of ours
We will teach you a thing or two
about unconditional love
On all the good days,
through the tough ones for sure
we’re joined in friendship
with respect and mutual care
Come hell or high water
a package deal we are
No one and nothing
will separate us
– ever.
** Written for What do you see #318, hosted by Sadje **
Scrambled Mess
In recent years, here on WordPress, I may have mentioned a time or twenty-five, that I’ve turned into quite the YouTube junkie. Especially in relation to junk journal craft videos, there’s an abundance of project ideas to make your head spin. What I could do less of? Well…
Instead of watching one video after the other, I should pick one that looks interesting to me and put that into action after seeing it, before moving on to the next fantastic and truly beautiful idea.
As of late I have noticed, that this “endless watching” of creative offerings by all the talented YouTubers leaves me overwhelmed and yes, frustrated to be honest. That’s because all this input ends up being a scrambled mess in my head, without a “filing system” or an immediate “outlet”. Should I turn this into an actually attainable New Year’s resolution? I think so. Thanks for stopping by, have a great start to your week 😊
Personal Highlights of 2025
Daily writing prompt
What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?
Good morning and happy Sunday to begin with…
In review of this year, two positives come to my mind immediately, being
our cruise with the Vasco da Gama from May 13th to May 20th
as well as
Lilly’s move from the streets of Italy into my heart and home on June 12th
🛳 I am thankful beyond measure to my mom. She made a second cruise experience possible, not only allowing me to see new places and gather lasting impressions, but more importantly to create lovely memories from the time we spend together in various beautiful locations.
🐕 What greater feeling is there, than to fall in love? Lilly captured my heart the minute I first laid eyes on her. This sweet, little whirlwind adds so much joy to every day, it’s amazing. I love Lilly to bits and am unbeliebably grateful, that she chose me (with Aubree’s help) to give her love, health, safety and an abundance of happy moments for the rest of her life.
We all know, that each year has good days and better ones. True is also, that ‘the dark days’ are a part of my life as well. Luckily they’ve been merciful this year, spread far and few between. That by itself is a blessing. Have a lovely Sunday!!
Unsought Encounter
For the longest time, I’ve been a big fan of leisurely walks through the woods. Oh my days did I change my mind since late spring of this year! Why?
It was late morning on a Sunday, when mom and I went for a walk after visiting our family tree at the forest cemetery. We weren’t talking for a short while, when I heard stomping noises. They were getting louder. What the fluff? Right in that moment, when I asked my mom what she thought this sound could be, a sounder of wild boars came running up the hill. They crossed the trail we were on about 250 meters away from us. We stood still immediately and watched in awe. I don’t know whether they did not take notice of our presence due to the wind’s direction, or if they just followed their leader come hell or high water. Dang! This is the kind of experience I don’t need to have again, to be sure. And guess what? Since that unsought encounter this past spring, I haven’t been in the woods for a leisurely walk. 🐗😞 Have a lovely Saturday!!
Beloved Weekend Getaway
Back in the States, I had quite a few favorite places. One of them always was the ‘Algoma Beach Motel’ in Wisconsin. One weekend out of the year, usually the beginning of September, I drove up there to escape from everyday life. This two day ‘mental check-out’ was never long enough for me to miss my apartment and routines, but still sufficient to recharge the batteries. It became a regular getaway I ended up looking forward to all year. The lovely motel right on the beach is also special, because each one of my puppy girls spend the weekend there with me at least once, and I got the same room, too. Lots of fond memories, always 💗🐾🥰
A few snaps from 2011 [sorry, the picture quality isn’t that great]…
All pictures by Claudia Braun
Trivialities & Intricacies 
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