In the grand scheme of things, change is generally a good thing. Without making adjustments as needed, we would never have progressed and evolved to the living standards and conditions we do have today. It takes an open mind and a good portion of curiosity to fully embrace changes.
On a personal level, changes present a challenge. This is partly due to Asperger Autism. Routines and schedules are good friends of mine, because they act as a safety net. Ideally, when something differs from my daily routine, I know exactly what’s happening, at what time, how long it will take, who will be involved….you get the idea. The more information I have, prior to whatever will occur out of the ordinary, the better, because I can (try to) mentally prepare myself. Most often, that makes a positive difference, but it still depends on how I’m doing overall on that particular day. Now heaven forbid something changes last minute, then “Housten, we have a problem”, and crap starts rolling downhill right quick. It frightens me time and again, how fast a nervous or agitated mood can turn into a full on panic mode. Often the lesser, but equally negative response, to last minute changes is anger. That happens, for example, when the handyman is due to arrive at 10 AM to repair something, but doesn’t show up at 10 AM sharp. Another example would be, that we have coffee and cake at 4 PM every afternoon. That is a constant since childhood. Up until about a year ago, it was a minor crisis for me, if we had coffee at 4.15 PM or any other time. Seems ridiculous, I know. And trust me, my mom “challenges me daily”, to help me learn a bit more flexibility and tolerance for such small changes. By now I can manage “the coffee crisis” a lot better, but it does take a considerable amount of conscious effort, to keep my grumpiness in check. So, while I understand that changes are a positive thing overall, it can be quite a challenge every day, to accept and deal with them accordingly.
Category: Writing
A-Z Challenge: Butterflies
These delicate, beautifully colored insects generally symbolize transformation and change.
In different cultures they also stand for lightness, hope and love, or bravery and good fortune.
Ever since my little Aubree spread her wings on September 4th 2023, I’ve been seeing a lot more butterflies. Or did I just not pay attention before? Laugh it off, if you want to. I know it’s my little angel reminding me that she is safe and happy, but also, that she is always with me. Now I am not talking about every butterfly I see for a second or two. These precious moments occur, when I’m going for a walk alone and it is quiet around me. Then sometimes, a butterfly appears and accompanies me for quite a while. Usually, these moments ignite a comforting warmth, or a feeling of peace from way down deep, and I always see the same photo of Aubree, which makes me laugh out loud without fail and it brings such joy.
To some, it may well be a wild imagination or hocus-pocus. That’s fine, you do you. To others, myself included, it is a special and very strong bond with a beloved animal or person, that carries on forever. True is also, that it is definitely easier to believe something, when you experience it yourself. We appreciate butterflies, some for their beauty, others also for the messages they convey.
A-Z Challenge: Authenticity
I stumbled upon a writing challenge, throughout the month of April. Apparently there are a few rules and guidelines to this. If I understand correctly, participants are asked to choose a theme and corresponding words for each letter of the alphabet. That’s really nice and lots of fun, I’m sure. You know what, though? I am doing this A-Z challenge my way, off the cuff. Are you ready for the ride? Then get buckled up and we’re starting with A for authenticity…
For decades I painstakingly tried to be, who family members, co-workers or friends thought I should be. I felt like an actress, performing to the best of my abilities. Needless to say, my performance was never good enough, but if anything, I was “easier to deal with”. It took me way too long to realize that I was everyone, except my true self. Every time I had to introduce myself somewhere and talk about who I am, or better yet, what makes me unique, I didn’t know what to say, because I had nothing to share. And one day, a few years ago, my mind was made up that I needed to find myself. Trying to be authentic every day is a challenge, that never gets any easier. It takes a lot of courage, more than I have most days, and quite often the people around me are not amused. Why? Because I no longer do what I’m told, if it feels wrong, or if I don’t like/agree with whatever is asked of me. Right quick I was given labels like difficult or head strong. And you know what? If it makes them happy, let them label me. That’s fine. I’m finally getting to the point, at which I try to internalize, that other people’s opinions of me are none of my business. If I don’t hear it myself, I don’t need to concern myself with whatever is being said. I have a much better understanding now with regard to who I am, and that’s all I need to care about.
Pertaining to this blog: I’m not here to prove myself to anyone. I’m not here to impress anyone. You won’t find me using “fancy words” [that need to be researched first, about the correct meaning, proper use or spelling]. I won’t attempt to dazzle you with anything, that I can’t back up in real life. So what you read here, this is who I am, it is what I do, think and feel. There is no difference between my online and offline personality. The content I will share here is certainly not everybody’s interest, but it is authentic. And that’s a good start, I think.
Rude Awakening
Daily writing prompt
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?
At 8:10 AM my alarm clock rudely awakens me. The piercing sound, this small little square manages to produce, kills any desire to hit the snooze button and snuggle up for another five minutes, because I definitely don’t want to hear that shrill, obnoxious tone one more time.
Okay, then I’m off into the washroom to freshen up and get ready for the day. That done, I’m a little bit closer to “the state of awake”. Once I’m dressed, I open all of the shutters and go downstairs. After a morning hug with momma, it is my job to make coffee for both of us, while she fixes her breakfast. I get the newspaper and we sit down to have our coffee and catch up on the news. We talk about the day and what needs to be done, for instance grocery shopping, working in the garden, etc. When I finished my coffee, I go back upstairs, make my bed and open the windows wide, to let fresh air in. Then I put new seeds into the bird feeders on my balcony and fix my own breakfast. The rest of the day gets going from there.
Invitation Accepted [WDYS #282]
Well, someone followed nature’s call
For a leisurely walk amongst lush greenery
And to accept the invitaion for a little rest
By an aged tree, standing proud and tall
Its trunk is split, begging to be explored
Some branches, expansive and rather low
Seemingly seek a connection
With the grass covered earth below
Feel free to climb, if you can
And have a sleep, precious moments
For dreaming a little dream
With the feeling of renewal
Upon waking to warm rays of sun
Recharged and ready for the fast pace
Life demands of us these days
Written for What Do You See #282
Weren’t For The Wind – Ella Langley
Someone help me, please….I’m obsessed with this song by Ella Langley. The lyrics, the melody….totally me. So I am sharing it, to kick off “Music @ Midnight”.
Doesn’t this song just make you want to get in the car and hit the road? Well we can dream, right? Have a good start to your week!
Name That Tune
Daily writing prompt
If you could have something named after you, what would it be?
My first thought is, to have a song named after me. Thinking back to my 20s and 30s there’s plenty of material, to write a great country song about. If those minor and major mishaps can be given a positive spin, and be turned into a life lesson, I may be on to something? Along with a catchy melody and my first name somewhere in the song’s title, there might be the next hit in the making. Et voilà, my name [and story] would be unforgettable. Unrealistic, of course, but the thought is entertaining, don’t you think? Have a lovely Sunday!
For Kicks And Giggles
What makes me laugh always depends on how the day is going, as well as my frame of mind. One day I find my own clumsiness, or another ‘duh-moment’ amusing, the very next day it may well upset me.
My animals always add joy and laughter to every day. Except, currently I don’t have a fur kid in my life – not yet anyway.
Sometimes it can be an ordinary word. Out of the blue it just cracks me up, perhaps due to having been repeated one too many times, or because it was pronounced incorrectly?
Stand-up comedy makes me laugh, well, Paul Panzer does. He is a German comedian, my favorite. No matter what it is, no matter how bad it is, he always gets me giggling. His comedy is my secret weapon, at least until the next fur kiddo moves in.
Keep smiling, it certainly is better than crying. Have a wonderful weekend.
Trivialities & Intricacies 
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