Category: Writing

After All…

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…She Was Correct,

and who would have thought that? Well not my mom, apparently…
It is an ongoing issue between the both of us, that she questions nearly everything I say. No matter if I read something, had a conversation with someone, or draw from my own life experience. She won’t believe it, until two to three other people tell her the exact same thing, or she hears about it on TV. You know, I try to keep calm on the outside. But it drives me bonkers inside. What is her point? Does she think her daughter is a notorious liar? Of all people she should know, that I’m terrible at “telling tales”, and therefore gave up even trying.
Most recent example: A few months ago, I read an article about feeding birds and the best types of feeders. It was stated, that a classic birdhouse, while adorable to look at, is not hygenic. Due to the fact, that the little visitors can get inside and leave their droppings among the seeds, others may end up getting sick. It was suggested to use feeders with just small openings instead.
After reading the article, I purchased one of those feeders. When I brought this topic up in conversation, the response was something like this: “And straight away you’re in panic mode, believe everything you read and make the suggested changes. Yes, it can happen and the birds could get sick, but what are the chances of it happening”?
Now just the other day, in one of her evening shows on TV they discussed this very topic. And what do you know? The very next morning she said to me: “Oh, you know what? You were actually right about the bird feeders. They talked about it last night on TV. Do you still have that other bird feeder for me to use, so that I can take the birdhouse down”?
Honestly, I’m getting to the point at which deep breaths, counting to five and all the “om’s” in this world won’t help anymore. Does my mom think I make up stories? What would I achieve by doing that? I should not let it get to me, I know. But it does take a toll, increasingly so. Most of all I can’t help but wonder, what that says about our mother-daughter-relationship in general.

Here On Earth

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Daily writing prompt
How much would you pay to go to the moon?
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To admire the moon at night, while I listen to my favorite songs, is plenty good enough for me. Instead of going to the moon, I prefer to save that money and visit some beautiful places here on earth. Have a lovely Saturday 😊

To Live The Understanding

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Daily writing prompt
What have you been working on?
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This type of question, and the way I understand it, is upsetting. My become-a-better-person project list is quite lengthy, while rather slow and unsteady bits of improvement add a huge amount of frustration at the same time. Why don’t we include yet another task to the evolve-into-your-best-self agenda, and watch it get lost in the mush of all other projects, that are in various states of progress? [Sarcasm Off].

To understand, that the people I am surrounded by at present, as well as in the future, are not at fault for the hurt caused by individuals of the past is one thing. To actually live that understanding, and to stop collectively treating everyone in the here and now unfairly is yet another. This is something I am currently trying to make headway on.

Unbelievably Lighthearted

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Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t know about you?
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It’s not lost on me that, especially here on WordPress, I may come across as a problem loaded, difficult to deal with and contemplative person. And if you indeed see me that way, you are not entirely incorrect. Believe it or not, I can be lighthearted, funny and sweet as pie. Unfortunately only a few people, with whom I have a meaningful, deep connection truly know me that way.

Finding The Balance

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Daily writing prompt
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
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Honestly? I’m on the fence on this one…
Lazy days always come with a little bit of guilt attached, as in ‘you should do this, that or the other thing’, instead of resting and being unproductive. At the same time, I don’t subscribe to this ‘the busier and more rushed your day is, the better and more fashionable’ you become as a person. Because you do want to keep up with, and be acknowledged as “equally busy” by your family and social circle.
I don’t have that problem anymore. My busy and stressful days with long work hours, having time for my animals and friends, chores and errands are over. Do I miss them? Nope, to be perfectly blunt. Sure, looking back on a productive day gives you a good feeling. But since I’m retired, and my days have become a lot more chill than before, I feel so much better and am not the least bit ashamed to admit that. I have days now when I’m bursting with energy, and don’t want to slow down until everything on the agenda is accomplished. And I have days, especially when ‘the sadness’ comes, where the simplest of things become a huge effort and I’m ‘lazy’, but not by choice. Most often, however, I’m perky and eager to get things done in the mornings. The afternoons are reserved for Lilly and our lovely, relaxing walks. When we return it’s time for crafting, diamond painting [newly discovered], reading, YouTube, etc. In other words, it’s a little of both and I’m okay with that. I don’t need anyone’s approval with regard to my productivity level. If I’m too lazy in your opinion, then twirl yourself into oblivion for all I care – no offense, but deal with your own existence and leave me to mine. Thanks!!
But you know what’s truly awesome about lazy days – no matter how frowned upon and unpopular they may be? Those are the days, when I come up with the best ideas, find great solutions to problems and make sense of the emotional chaos in my head. And the more I stop fighting those unproductive, lazy days during my ‘sad periods’, the more easily I get throught them. Ridiculous, but true. It’s a balance between both, that works best for me. You certainly are entitled to your opinions, I just don’t have to care. Peace and laziness for us all 🥰🤣

All Around The Globe

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Daily writing prompt
When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?
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If you…
– try to be a good person
– live life according to your needs and wishes
– do not disrespect or harm others
– abide by the law
– are at peace with yourself
…then you may call yourself successful [at living] by my definiton. Congratulations to millions of people around the globe, you’re awesome!

A Disappointing Morning

Published on by Claudia2 Comments

Up in the attic are still toys and books from childhood, that I stubbornly refuse to let go of. Other treasures from the 70’s, my heart is not quite so attached to, were taken to the local thrift store to be donated. That was our goal this morning, and then…

The employees were overly picky and disrespectful, saying things like “that book is old, no one wants to read that” and “the box is not in perfect condition, we won’t accept that” or “those toys have little blemishes, we have no use for them”. I had my “verbal guns” at the ready, when one of those men said to his co-worker “gosh, the kind of crap these people bring us, do they think we take everything”? [I know that I have an anger problem sometimes. Justified or not, but that disrespect and ungratefulness was really setting me off]. Lucky for them, I did not have to “aim and fire choice words” at them, because my terminator face mirrors my emotions. They could clearly see, that I was not amused by their behavior. Such a disappointing morning.

Am I wrong, thinking, that thrift stores are geared towards people, who specifically look for items you can’t buy in other shops because they have the value of being old(er) and are perhaps no longer produced? Aren’t those stores also in existence for people, living on a tight financial budget? And if so, I doubt very highly, that these people mind very much, if things have little nicks and dents, so long as they still work properly and are affordable! How do I know the latter? Let’s call it personal experience. When you have to turn every penny twice, you simply can’t afford to be that picky. Even if something isn’t exactly what you would like and the item is everything, except new and perfect, you still appreciate having found it at a much more affordable price. A small monthly budget will teach you gratitude right quick, let me tell you.
Where is this ungratefulness coming from? What is up with disrespct for toys and books our parents, and we ourselves grew up with? Why are items from decades ago not appreciated and valued for their age? You probably think that I’m overreacting, and that’s fine.
I would really like to support our local thrift store and its good cause. Unfortunately they lost my respect this morning. I won’t take precious-to-me items there to donate any longer. And I won’t shop there either in the near future. Being ungrateful for offered donations is one issue. Being disrespectful to the people, who want to do a good deed, is another. Both is equally disappointing and I refuse to support such an attitude, simple as that.

Damn Near Perfection

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Daily writing prompt
What have you been putting off doing? Why?
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Just recently I mentioned, that I’m rarely, if ever, able to meet or exeed the expectations I have of myself. This, in turn, immediately leads down the road of procrastination. I do exceptionally well with putting things off. This is true especially, when I demand damn near perfection from myself with regard to the finished product…

My mind is made up. I would like to make a handmade book for my hairdresser, as a thank you. And no, not for cutting my hair, that’s what tips are for. No, this personal and from the heart gift is supposed to express my thanks for her patience with me, for listening and giving good advice, for a hug on a bad day, for our deep and meaningful conversations. I mean she goes well beyond the usual chit-chat, and always takes her time with me. That’s a whole lot to be thankful for, am I wrong?
So, the last time I had my hair done I asked her about color preferences and other details to help me get ideas and inspiration. That was almost three weeks ago. Did I get started in the meantime? Oh no, no! I do have ideas tumbling about in my head, but I’m afraid to begin. Afraid? Yes. Because I have the expectation of myself, that this handmade book for my hairdresser needs to turn out damn near perfect. At the same time I already know that it won’t. Questions arise, like if I am not going to be satisfied with the result, why should she be? Or will I make a fool of myself, giving her something like this? My saving grace is, that I didn’t promise to have it ready when I visit next time. I don’t necessarily have to give it to her before Christmas, either. Time is on my side, and that helps a lot. Not with procrastinating any longer, but instead, to focus on the details.
In the end, I’m using food packaging that would end up in the bin otherwise. That’s what the lovely ladies of my favorite YouTube channels say time and again. And they’re right. Why does it have to be damn near perfect anyway? This book will be handmade, with my heart put into it. Doesn’t that make it more valuable than perfection? And why can’t I get that through my thick skull?