To Live The Understanding

Daily writing prompt
What have you been working on?

This type of question, and the way I understand it, is upsetting. My become-a-better-person project list is quite lengthy, while rather slow and unsteady bits of improvement add a huge amount of frustration at the same time. Why don’t we include yet another task to the evolve-into-your-best-self agenda, and watch it get lost in the mush of all other projects, that are in various states of progress? [Sarcasm Off].

To understand, that the people I am surrounded by at present, as well as in the future, are not at fault for the hurt caused by individuals of the past is one thing. To actually live that understanding, and to stop collectively treating everyone in the here and now unfairly is yet another. This is something I am currently trying to make headway on.

Unbelievably Lighthearted

Daily writing prompt
Whatโ€™s something most people donโ€™t know about you?

It’s not lost on me that, especially here on WordPress, I may come across as a problem loaded, difficult to deal with and contemplative person. And if you indeed see me that way, you are not entirely incorrect. Believe it or not, I can be lighthearted, funny and sweet as pie. Unfortunately only a few people, with whom I have a meaningful, deep connection truly know me that way.

Finding The Balance

Daily writing prompt
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

Honestly? I’m on the fence on this one…
Lazy days always come with a little bit of guilt attached, as in ‘you should do this, that or the other thing’, instead of resting and being unproductive. At the same time, I don’t subscribe to this ‘the busier and more rushed your day is, the better and more fashionable’ you become as a person. Because you do want to keep up with, and be acknowledged as “equally busy” by your family and social circle.
I don’t have that problem anymore. My busy and stressful days with long work hours, having time for my animals and friends, chores and errands are over. Do I miss them? Nope, to be perfectly blunt. Sure, looking back on a productive day gives you a good feeling. But since I’m retired, and my days have become a lot more chill than before, I feel so much better and am not the least bit ashamed to admit that. I have days now when I’m bursting with energy, and don’t want to slow down until everything on the agenda is accomplished. And I have days, especially when ‘the sadness’ comes, where the simplest of things become a huge effort and I’m ‘lazy’, but not by choice. Most often, however, I’m perky and eager to get things done in the mornings. The afternoons are reserved for Lilly and our lovely, relaxing walks. When we return it’s time for crafting, diamond painting [newly discovered], reading, YouTube, etc. In other words, it’s a little of both and I’m okay with that. I don’t need anyone’s approval with regard to my productivity level. If I’m too lazy in your opinion, then twirl yourself into oblivion for all I care – no offense, but deal with your own existence and leave me to mine. Thanks!!
But you know what’s truly awesome about lazy days – no matter how frowned upon and unpopular they may be? Those are the days, when I come up with the best ideas, find great solutions to problems and make sense of the emotional chaos in my head. And the more I stop fighting those unproductive, lazy days during my ‘sad periods’, the more easily I get throught them. Ridiculous, but true. It’s a balance between both, that works best for me. You certainly are entitled to your opinions, I just don’t have to care. Peace and laziness for us all ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿคฃ

All Around The Globe

Daily writing prompt
When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?

If you…
– try to be a good person
– live life according to your needs and wishes
– do not disrespect or harm others
– abide by the law
– are at peace with yourself
…then you may call yourself successful [at living] by my definiton. Congratulations to millions of people around the globe, you’re awesome!

A Disappointing Morning

Up in the attic are still toys and books from childhood, that I stubbornly refuse to let go of. Other treasures from the 70’s, my heart is not quite so attached to, were taken to the local thrift store to be donated. That was our goal this morning, and then…

The employees were overly picky and disrespectful, saying things like “that book is old, no one wants to read that” and “the box is not in perfect condition, we won’t accept that” or “those toys have little blemishes, we have no use for them”. I had my “verbal guns” at the ready, when one of those men said to his co-worker “gosh, the kind of crap these people bring us, do they think we take everything”? [I know that I have an anger problem sometimes. Justified or not, but that disrespect and ungratefulness was really setting me off]. Lucky for them, I did not have to “aim and fire choice words” at them, because my terminator face mirrors my emotions. They could clearly see, that I was not amused by their behavior. Such a disappointing morning.

Am I wrong, thinking, that thrift stores are geared towards people, who specifically look for items you can’t buy in other shops because they have the value of being old(er) and are perhaps no longer produced? Aren’t those stores also in existence for people, living on a tight financial budget? And if so, I doubt very highly, that these people mind very much, if things have little nicks and dents, so long as they still work properly and are affordable! How do I know the latter? Let’s call it personal experience. When you have to turn every penny twice, you simply can’t afford to be that picky. Even if something isn’t exactly what you would like and the item is everything, except new and perfect, you still appreciate having found it at a much more affordable price. A small monthly budget will teach you gratitude right quick, let me tell you.
Where is this ungratefulness coming from? What is up with disrespct for toys and books our parents, and we ourselves grew up with? Why are items from decades ago not appreciated and valued for their age? You probably think that I’m overreacting, and that’s fine.
I would really like to support our local thrift store and its good cause. Unfortunately they lost my respect this morning. I won’t take precious-to-me items there to donate any longer. And I won’t shop there either in the near future. Being ungrateful for offered donations is one issue. Being disrespectful to the people, who want to do a good deed, is another. Both is equally disappointing and I refuse to support such an attitude, simple as that.

On Friendly Terms

Daily writing prompt
What makes a good neighbor?

It is wise, to be on friendly terms with your neighbors. Animosities in closer proximity make everyday life unnecessarily complicated. Obviously, some people are easier to get along with than others. Ideally, you can have a polite chat on the sidewalk or across the fence and help each other out in times of need, but always with respect for the boundaries and privacy of those around you.

Damn Near Perfection

Daily writing prompt
What have you been putting off doing? Why?

Just recently I mentioned, that I’m rarely, if ever, able to meet or exeed the expectations I have of myself. This, in turn, immediately leads down the road of procrastination. I do exceptionally well with putting things off. This is true especially, when I demand damn near perfection from myself with regard to the finished product

My mind is made up. I would like to make a handmade book for my hairdresser, as a thank you. And no, not for cutting my hair, that’s what tips are for. No, this personal and from the heart gift is supposed to express my thanks for her patience with me, for listening and giving good advice, for a hug on a bad day, for our deep and meaningful conversations. I mean she goes well beyond the usual chit-chat, and always takes her time with me. That’s a whole lot to be thankful for, am I wrong?
So, the last time I had my hair done I asked her about color preferences and other details to help me get ideas and inspiration. That was almost three weeks ago. Did I get started in the meantime? Oh no, no! I do have ideas tumbling about in my head, but I’m afraid to begin. Afraid? Yes. Because I have the expectation of myself, that this handmade book for my hairdresser needs to turn out damn near perfect. At the same time I already know that it won’t. Questions arise, like if I am not going to be satisfied with the result, why should she be? Or will I make a fool of myself, giving her something like this? My saving grace is, that I didn’t promise to have it ready when I visit next time. I don’t necessarily have to give it to her before Christmas, either. Time is on my side, and that helps a lot. Not with procrastinating any longer, but instead, to focus on the details.
In the end, I’m using food packaging that would end up in the bin otherwise. That’s what the lovely ladies of my favorite YouTube channels say time and again. And they’re right. Why does it have to be damn near perfect anyway? This book will be handmade, with my heart put into it. Doesn’t that make it more valuable than perfection? And why can’t I get that through my thick skull?

All Grown Up Now!?

Daily writing prompt
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Without overthinking this question, two days come to my mind, when I truly felt like a grown-up:

๐Ÿ‘ฐ the day I got married
๐ŸŒŽ the day I moved to a different continent, not knowing anyone except my then husband

…and now a little humor ๐Ÿ˜‚

I found these quotes at Your Tango. Have a lovely Saturday ๐Ÿ˜Š

In Support Of Animals

Daily writing prompt
If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?

If I had a million dollars to give away, I would love to support local animal shelters with that money. In particular, the shelter where Lilly was being taken care of before she made her way into my heart and home. I witnessed first hand with how much love and enthusiasm the volunteers care for their furry guests. Money is always an issue, because there is simply never enough for medical care, toys, food, blankets and all other needed care products.
I do support local shelters financially as it is, but a million dollars would really make a big and much needed difference. My heart beats for animals, especially dogs, and it always will.

Make It Work

Daily writing prompt
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

After my ex-husband and I separated, I had to start over. My own family was far away in Germany and his family wasn’t all that interested in how I was going to manage my life in the future. So I was on my own in a rundown, unsafe neighborhood because I could not afford anything better on minimum wage. Everyone back in Germany thought that I should just come back, to have mom and dad take me in and help me get back on my feet. But I was determined to make a good life for myself, without the help from anyone else. It was a long, rocky road through quite a few valleys. In the end, I have proven to myself and all the people in Germany, who never believed in me to start with, that I can get on just fine on my own. With lots of determination I made it work and reached the hardest personal goal I have ever set for myself. Dare I say it? I am a little bit proud of myself, too. [Gosh it feels wrong to praise myself – won’t happen again].