I would absolutely love to go back to the USA. However, I’m talking about the beautiful PRE Trump country I left in April 2014, to be perfectly blunt. Now, with everything we hear about America in the news here, no thank you, I’m so disappointed to say.
Lovely alternatives to America would be Canada, New Zealand or Scotland. Question is, when can I leave? 😊 Have a great day!!
Category: Blogging
No Progress At All
Lesson learned: self assessments are not to be trusted [in my case].
Oh my word. Just the other evening I thougth to myself, that I really made some headway with regard to being more flexible throughout any given day. I was under the impression, that unforseen situations no longer cause as much havoc, and disrupt my entire day as much as they still did, let’s say two years ago. That’s what I thought. But the proof is in the pudding, as we know. And what do you think? I was proven wrong yet again.
The cause for this morning’s changed routine is not relevant now. But it ended up affecting the entire day, my mood, my productivity, in short everything. I was so disappointed in myself for not having made any progress at all. I do try, but apparently not enough. So, while this is a discouraging setback, giving up is not an option. No matter what, I have to persevere. Even if it won’t get better going forward either, perhaps I can be proud of myself for sticking with it.
Strangely Disproportionate?!
I’d much rather take on the challenge of having to start over in a different country with a predetermined amount of money, than having to speak or perform something in front of a large group of people. Interesting? Strange? How did I get to this conclusion? I invite you to read on…
The last time I had my hair cut, we talked about only having very few [in my case no] friends in our lives as we get older. Additionally, we spoke about options for meeting new people when you are not a group oriented person to begin with. Discussing various possibilities, offered in our town, I blurted out, that I would much prefer the above mentioned challenge to being part of any type of group. First she looked at me, stunned, I would assume [?]. But watching her closely I could see, that she was considering my statement. Because then she smiled and said “From what I’ve learned about you so far, that makes sense. If you liked the country you had to start over in, I could see you actually doing it, too”. And right she is. Now don’t get me wrong. I would certainly have the proper respect, when approaching such a challenge or journey, of course. But instead of fear, there would be a hell of a lot of excitement mixed in as well. In stark contrast to being a part of, or having to present something to a group of people. Oh the horror. Absolutely not. No, thank you! The thought of that causes stomach aches, panic attacks, nightmares…In all honesty, these two tasks can’t be compared, because they are on very different levels. How does something, that lasts maybe a few minutes or hours be such a challenge versus something, that not only requires more effort longterm, but your future and well being depend upon the choices you make? I’m not sure that I can sufficiently explain what I mean. If not, I’m sorry. Did I really back off from people so much, that I would choose to change my entire life, instead of having to accomplish something within a group or having to be in the spotlight?
That Was Unexpected!
Daily writing prompt
What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can?
My response to today’s question may miss the mark, but it’s the only answer I have…
The routine I have in place brings a bit of structure into each day, which in turn makes me feel safe. There are a couple of elements throughout the day, that I could happily do without, no doubt about it. But skipping either one would shake up the entire carefully established construct. I would not do myself a favor. Instead I try not to be grumpy, or complain about having to do those chores. The wise words “fake it until you make it” help a lot.
What I would gladly love to skip are unexpected and unplanned situations or things to be done. Why? Because I lack the flexibility to just go with the flow and with it, the ability to rearrange my day accordingly if the need arises, because of my established routine. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle, no?
Muffled Screams
Holy crap on a cracker, I haven’t done this in a very long time. And perhaps it would be a good idea to reinstate this practice, whenever I’m about ready to explode, like right now. Where is the next available pillow for me to scream into?
Okay. Deep breaths. One thing after the other…
I just started cooking, because my mom is not feeling well and wanted to relax on the couch for a while. But she is not happy unless she can criticize me once per day. She just can’t help herself. It took less than 10 minutes, for her to come into the kitchen to “check up on me and to see what I’m doing”. It’s always the same, and it riles me up to no end.
…”Don’t you want to do this first….”
…”I would have done it like this…”
…”Why don’t you try it like this, it’ll be better/easier…”
…”Why don’t you use this instead…”
Oh my days! Just quit micromanaging me! I’m not cooking for the first time ever today. Gawd.
Does she think that I’m incapable of doing anything without her supervision or guidance? At the same time she wonders, why I’m so hard on myself, always aiming for perfection – and failing miserably, of course. Thinking back to my years in America, I miss my independence and my freedom. No one told me anything, it was up to me. The good, the bad, all of it.
Yaaahhhh, I know. She is elderly, I should have patience with her and overlook moments like these. The issue is, that this is not a due-to-old-age problem, it’s been like this for as far back as I can remember. You know what? Sometimes I miss those few thousand miles between the family and myself. They are so much easier to like with a lot of distance in between. Sorry, it’s the truth.
Alright. Now a nice big spoonful of Valerian and I shall get back to “neutral mood” right quick.
Between Hope And Fear – Timo Pralle
What to do when sleep won’t come….? How about some music, since it’s been a while?
Have a great start to your week, and I’d be thrilled to see you back here soon 😊
Love Without Budget
Daily writing prompt
Name the most expensive personal item you’ve ever purchased (not your home or car).
The most money I ever spent was not for an ‘item’, it was on one of my puppy girls named Mandy. During the last three years of her life, she developed a heart condition that required regular monthly checkups, xrays, blood work and a shot to keep her as healthy as possible. And no, don’t go there, I was not tormenting her. The doctors at our trusted animal hospital assured me every time, that she was not suffering and still had a good quality of life. They would never have allowed for Mandy to endure pain and suffering, and neither would I have, ever. Period. Okay? In total, over the years I spend roughly $30.000 for her treatments as well as the at home medications. You may gasp for air now, and that’s fine. Wouldn’t you do everything you could for your children? Well, my dogs are my fur kiddos and the same concept applies. Ridiculous? By all means, have your opinion. I don’t care. My dogs have always been, and always will be, the greatest joy and blessing in my life. Their well being significantly adds to my own. And the love I have for ‘my girls’ doesn’t come with a budget or a price tag attached. I will gladly give all I can afford, to keep them healthy and happy. Because my heart beats for dogs, and that won’t ever change. Have a lovely Sunday!! 🥰
Pay Attention!
I don’t have a properly working ‘screen time management’. However, a rather short attention span seems to be a blessing in disguise. It is high time to shut the computer down, when I become fidgety and easily distracted. Sometimes during a YouTube documentary or crafting video, I hit pause and try to recall what I just saw and heard. If I find myself struggling, the website will be added to the ‘watch-it-later’ list and the computer gets a well deserved break.
Rolling Stone – Annie Bosko
Thanks for stopping by. Have a good week 🍀😊
A Happily Uneventful Life
Throughout the years I realized, that life doesn’t seem to agree with the plans I make. Goals, hopes and dreams are a part of my past, because it’s the kind of disappointment I don’t need anymore. I do my best at taking life the way it comes, one day at the time. Simple as that. Three years from now? I don’t see my life being a whole lot different from today. As long as I’m done with drama, difficulty and people hurting me, I will count my blessings and happily lead an uneventful life with Lilly by my side.
Trivialities & Intricacies 
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