I’d much rather take on the challenge of having to start over in a different country with a predetermined amount of money, than having to speak or perform something in front of a large group of people. Interesting? Strange? How did I get to this conclusion? I invite you to read on…

The last time I had my hair cut, we talked about only having very few [in my case no] friends in our lives as we get older. Additionally, we spoke about options for meeting new people when you are not a group oriented person to begin with. Discussing various possibilities, offered in our town, I blurted out, that I would much prefer the above mentioned challenge to being part of any type of group. First she looked at me, stunned, I would assume [?]. But watching her closely I could see, that she was considering my statement. Because then she smiled and said “From what I’ve learned about you so far, that makes sense. If you liked the country you had to start over in, I could see you actually doing it, too”. And right she is. Now don’t get me wrong. I would certainly have the proper respect, when approaching such a challenge or journey, of course. But instead of fear, there would be a hell of a lot of excitement mixed in as well. In stark contrast to being a part of, or having to present something to a group of people. Oh the horror. Absolutely not. No, thank you! The thought of that causes stomach aches, panic attacks, nightmares…In all honesty, these two tasks can’t be compared, because they are on very different levels. How does something, that lasts maybe a few minutes or hours be such a challenge versus something, that not only requires more effort longterm, but your future and well being depend upon the choices you make? I’m not sure that I can sufficiently explain what I mean. If not, I’m sorry. Did I really back off from people so much, that I would choose to change my entire life, instead of having to accomplish something within a group or having to be in the spotlight?